"i won't let you close enough to hurt me"

hayo cemuaaaaa, :D

first of all, gw udah lulus lohh. yeehaawwww. jadi skarang tinggal nunggu mulai kuliah aja. rasanya gimana ya? kayak kalo dalem buku, kayak udah selesai baca 1 buku gitu trus lagi nunggu lanjutannya keluar. entah kenapa rasanya sedih. kayak bener2 1 bagian dari hidup gw selesai. tapi apapun yang terjadi friendship stays the same right? -- semoga aja sih begitu

yah skarang mau ngomong apa lagi ya? hem hem hem hem.. goodbye high school, goodbye penabur, goodbye yang lain2nya juga, yang udah ada sama gw selama ini buat bantu gw. thanks buat semua dukungannya. andd.... maybe it's a goodbye to you too?

Close enough to start a war, 

All that I have is on the floor, 

God only knows what we're fighting for, 

All that I say, you always say more, 

I can't keep up with your turning tables, 

Under your thumb, I can't breathe, 

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me, 

No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me, 

I cant give you the heart you think you gave me, 

It's time to say goodbye to turning tables, 

To turning tables, 

Under haunted skies I see you, ooh, 

Where love is lost, your ghost is found, 

I braved a hundred storms to leave you, 

As hard as you try, no, I will never be knocked down, 

I can't keep up with your turning tables, 

Under your thumb, I can't breathe, 

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me, 

No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me, 

I cant give you the heart you think you gave me, 

It's time to say goodbye to turning tables, 

Turning tables, 

Next time I'll be braver, 

I'll be my own savior, 

When the thunder calls for me, 

Next time I'll be braver, 

I'll be my own savior, 

Standing on my own two feet, 

still widely awake

astaga ternyata bener ini glee diulang. huaaaaaa :'(

anyway gpplah itung2 gw ngeliat2 tumblr sambil ditemani lagu2 glee. not bad lahh

     -----> kayaknya mereka bahagia banget ya? wish it could happen to me. someday..

 unyu banget ya ini ------------------------------>

my honeymoon destination :)

:)

glee-athon

hey alllll, bayangin aja ini jam 3 pagi dan gw disini sedang menulis blog. jadi dari semalem tanggal 1 mei 2011 jam 22.35 ada GLEE-ATHON which means, glee sampe mampus. hadeh gw yang awalnya agak mengantuk jadi bangun pas diingetin debby. tapi yang bt-in si bajay tidur coba, trus gw telponin ga diangkat. tapi gpp deh berhubung tadi juga dia ud bilang slamat tidur dan udah pamit jadii, ceyamat bobo cayaanngg :*

nah skarang soal glee tadi, bayangin setelah nonton sampe jam 2.45, ehh dia mulai lagi ke episode1 !!!!!! ih asli bt gw. gatau ni maksudnya apaan. skarang mau bobo juga udah nanggung, agak berat sih kalo mesti bangun setelah tidur hanya 2 jam. jam 5 ntar mesti bangunin bajay, debby, esther. hualalalalalala gini deh kalo libur udah kelamaan (padahal baru 1 minggu). fufufufufuf

oh iya trus tau ga apalagi yang bikin akyu cedihh :( masa daritadi nonton glee-athon ini GW MENCRET. ah dasar perut gabener. masa kembung pagi2 buta gini sih sedih amat. males kebawah ambil obat jadiiiii...... biarin aja deh ntar juga berenti sendiri (kalo ketauan bajay pasti eke dimarain pol polan deh ini :p).


jadi skarang gw nonton lagi aja ini glee (berhubung pilihannya cuma ini ato i know what you did last summer - halo ini pagi2 buta jam 3, jam yang sakral menurut film exorcism of emily rose jadi ga deh nonton horor gitu). seperetinya gw baru bisa ketemu ayang gw tercinta (dancrut) ntar sekitar jam 7an, itupun kalo masih nilai bobo. ayolah waktu cepat berjalan. tiktoktiktoktiktok.....

"now i'm all gone"

first of all, big congratulations for prince William and Kate Middleton for their royal wedding today.

second, i realized how i had screwed up myself with those thought about my past and my forever thing. it's stupid and i should never mention it. but now that it had happened, i guess there's nothing else i could do. i've lost the one i truly love and now i feel empty. i guess i don't know what else to say.

anyway thanks blog, for being there and for listening to me, although you can't cheer me up. :)

so much for the past, time is ticking sugar pie :)

so, i guess i did it. just wrote a blog about my feeling. if it were a painting, i believe it would be abstract. i believe every one of us has their own history, in their own "book-of-life" - well so do i. it almost cost me forever to realize no one could ever lie to their own feeling so i admit it, I've found my first love. I've found my forever. and I've had a so-called relationship with him. but 1 thing i learned, 'forever' is not a chapter. you've got three chapter in your book-of-life and they are past-perfect-future. forever might be not one of  them. but it has a part in every chapter on your life. so my forever lives in the 'past chapter' but he lies in my other chapters. it cross my mind, "should i try to catch it back?" and my mind answer that one perfectly "forever can live as long as they want. but don't make it cost your future" -- of course i know nothing about my future. but i know everything about my present. and in my present, i love my teddybear :)

so what the the hell my forever, please stay in my book. i love you and will always do. it's just not that kind of love anymore. you no longer own my heart, but you own a museum in my mind.

my dear dear dear teddybear, just want you to know all that matter now is the fact that i am so deeply, undeniable, and passionately in love with you, my heart is all yours.
i love you, d :*

random poetry

BLAST FROM THE PAST

it's not on the same page
it's definitely different
and it's nothing new
but it's there, always been there

trying hard to forget
trying hard not to remember
but why oh why
it keeps coming back for more

sick of this feeling
sick of being haunted
what am i supposed to do?
when the best part of me has been taken?

the reason for almost everything
are you there? can you hear me now?
remember this one : "i love you, always have & always will"




PS :  the "i will always love you song"  ----> remember it? :')

"if i should stay, i would only be in your way. so i'll go but i know i'll think of you every step of the way......"

"bittersweet memories that is all i'm taking with me........"

"and i will always love you......"

10 months

it's been 10 months!!!! yeeeyyyy :D