"now i'm all gone"

first of all, big congratulations for prince William and Kate Middleton for their royal wedding today.

second, i realized how i had screwed up myself with those thought about my past and my forever thing. it's stupid and i should never mention it. but now that it had happened, i guess there's nothing else i could do. i've lost the one i truly love and now i feel empty. i guess i don't know what else to say.

anyway thanks blog, for being there and for listening to me, although you can't cheer me up. :)

so much for the past, time is ticking sugar pie :)

so, i guess i did it. just wrote a blog about my feeling. if it were a painting, i believe it would be abstract. i believe every one of us has their own history, in their own "book-of-life" - well so do i. it almost cost me forever to realize no one could ever lie to their own feeling so i admit it, I've found my first love. I've found my forever. and I've had a so-called relationship with him. but 1 thing i learned, 'forever' is not a chapter. you've got three chapter in your book-of-life and they are past-perfect-future. forever might be not one of  them. but it has a part in every chapter on your life. so my forever lives in the 'past chapter' but he lies in my other chapters. it cross my mind, "should i try to catch it back?" and my mind answer that one perfectly "forever can live as long as they want. but don't make it cost your future" -- of course i know nothing about my future. but i know everything about my present. and in my present, i love my teddybear :)

so what the the hell my forever, please stay in my book. i love you and will always do. it's just not that kind of love anymore. you no longer own my heart, but you own a museum in my mind.

my dear dear dear teddybear, just want you to know all that matter now is the fact that i am so deeply, undeniable, and passionately in love with you, my heart is all yours.
i love you, d :*

random poetry

BLAST FROM THE PAST

it's not on the same page
it's definitely different
and it's nothing new
but it's there, always been there

trying hard to forget
trying hard not to remember
but why oh why
it keeps coming back for more

sick of this feeling
sick of being haunted
what am i supposed to do?
when the best part of me has been taken?

the reason for almost everything
are you there? can you hear me now?
remember this one : "i love you, always have & always will"




PS :  the "i will always love you song"  ----> remember it? :')

"if i should stay, i would only be in your way. so i'll go but i know i'll think of you every step of the way......"

"bittersweet memories that is all i'm taking with me........"

"and i will always love you......"

10 months

it's been 10 months!!!! yeeeyyyy :D

gwrs

it's complicated

hai hai hai semuanyaaaa. sudah lama yah tidak tell tell story. perkembanagan sejauh ini, ujian sekolah done :D tapi kalo nilainya masih KJ 364 deh. jadi banyak hal yang terjadi selama ini, sorry ya kalo gw ga sempet nulis mulu abis lagi ribet dari yang belajar sampe ngurusin ac yah gitulah. but now i'm back!!!!

sebenernya gw rada males nulis blog tapi gw gatau mau ngapain lagi, ini asli bosen banget. dan sedih ya kalo kita lagi sendirian itu. biarpun gw jadi banyak merenung sih. dan thanks to glee, gw jadi ga terlalu sepi deh tadi. masa ya si santana nyanyiin lagu buat sam judulnya : "TROUTY MOUTH" -_____-" but that song has succesfully made me laugh lohhh :D.

are you wondering what's wrong with me? welll gw rasa orang2 yang baca ini blog juga udah tau kenapa. but to make it clear, i'm done. sebentar lagi gw lulus dan gw akan ketemu sama dunia yang jauh lebih jahat dari dunia gw skarang. sedih sih, dan susah buat ngelepas that special someone yang gw pikir bakal terus nemenin gw unyu banget ini emang dasar pikiran anak sma ya, mikirnya masih yang baik2 aja kalo ini tuh bisa jadi happy ending gw, ga perlu susah2 nyari orang lain cause i've found him. butttt, let's face it this is real world and gw realistis aja lah. 22 days left. abis itu gw ga ke skolah lagi so i'll be done anyway, let''s just say gw cuma curi start. bukan start sih, curi finishnya aja.

sooooo skarang gw gatau yah mesti ngomong apalagi. status gw brubah, no longer in a relationship but not single as well since he still got my heart locked under his so let's just say it's complicated.


byebye guys have a nice day :)





























































ps : aku masih sayang kamu bangeeettttttt, tapi aku gabisa ngomong itu langsung. moga2 aja kamu baca ini dan kamu tau

bye bye ujian praktek :D

hari ini hari terakhir ujian praktek and guess what, i did it loh :)
well keseluruhan cukup berjalan dengan lancar lah. makasih buat guru2 yang udah membantu memberi penilaian psikomotorik. God bless you teachers :*

hari senen depan gw akan mulai uas. dan seperti dugaan, pada detik detik terakhir inilah jantung gw berdegup dengan amat cepat. ga terasa deh bentar lagi uas, abis itu un trus bye bye shs :'(
tapi honestly gw ga sabar juga mulai lembaran baru dalam hidup gw (uhuy) sebagai seorang MAHASISWA unyunyunyu cuma kalo ga ada perubahan amat disayangkan ya wo de nan peng you masih pake putih abu2 dikala ane udah pake bebas sebebasbebasnya.

malem ini gw agak sediikit terpukul sih, di hari ini dibbikin bt mulu. ga diskolah, dirumah , dirumah lagi. yah gausah diceritain ya, lagi capek. lagian mesti nyelesaiin slide buat kebaktian besok. intinya cukup tau aja hari ini gw bt.
yang paling bikin gw terpukul ----> "kangen gaaaa?" "enggak"


oke deh gw pergi dulu, mesti lanjutin bikin slide kebaktian. sampai jumpa lagi ya.




ps : for my dear dear friend mekii, safe flight ya. maaf juga soal yang kemaren :( gonna miss you dude. take care